Thought-provoking blogs

My sister directed me to the blog for her church (which we recently visited when we were in Winston-Salem, NC), and I thought these were very honest, insightful comments in response to the preaching lately (Hunter and Ben are the pastors). I must say that I can identify with them myself in different ways. Anyway, I'm posting them here for further contemplation:

Hunter,

The messages you and Ben have been preaching lately from Proverbs have been truly beneficial and I believe of course, God’s message for us.

The one thing that really grabbed us when we first came to Redeemer over a year ago was the emphasis on community. I also had great need for healthy relationships and God has brought us to a wonderful place.

Yet in ‘community’ we always don’t agree, especially regarding politics. I grew up conservative Southern Baptist, have had a good dose of Wesleyan , Lutheran, Charismatic, Moravian and Presbyterian influence in my beliefs. I also know that I can be extremely opinionated, critical, and judgmental. These are things/sins the Lord is showing me I need to repent of and as I ask for His grace to do so, the testing comes when I encounter people at this wonderful place who don’t agree with me. Sometimes it is a strong temptation to withdraw and disassociate with others, yet God calls us to and blesses us in community. So when I see a bumper sticker on someone’s car promoting their politics, that ire wants to rise up in me, but because ‘greater is He that is in me’ truly is in me, I ask God for the grace to love that brother or sister regardless. And this is not easy, especially with a strong track record of isolation. Sometimes it seems easier to withdraw, sulk and be critical than to engage, love and respect and perhaps (I shudder) to be willing to change my mind.

Anyway, this is my thought for the day. Thank you for listening Hunter.
Signed,
The Isolator

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Hunter,
I don’t know where to begin. It seems very providential that the only e-mail that I had today was from you saying that you would be preaching on friendships/relationships the next three Sundays, after a morning of feeling very hurt by a good friend. The incident this morning seems like one of many among several relationships in my life.

I guess being a quieter person, I often feel left out of conversation when I am with groups of people (sometimes I am very OK with that). But I often feel left out of “groups” or maybe “clicks” of friends. I can be deeply jealous of the people who seem to be “best” friends with each other when I am not a part of it. I continue to tell myself that maybe I am so different from these people that a deep relationship wouldn’t work anyway so I just shouldn’t worry about it. After all, shouldn’t people be allowed to be better friends with others and it be OK? But it is hard for me to let it go. I feel so sinful with my jealousy.

I do have a few good friends in my life who I love dearly, but as a stay-at-home, homeschool mom with a baby who still naps twice a day, I often feel like I don’t have the time to pursue relationships the way I did in the past. It feels like if I’m not calling and pursuing other people then I am somehow off their radar.

I’m not sure if this helps at all for your purposes, but I felt compelled to share. Please pray that I would have wisdom and clarity in these relationships and that I would know what it looks like to be repentant concerning my jealousy.
Signed,
Home Alone

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Hi Hunter!
I’m glad to hear sermons on friendship and community, and I appreciate you opening it up for comments. As I was reading the email, I knew I had to comment, since this has been one of the big struggles of my life. I spoke about it some during Sonship last year, and that class actually was very helpful in learning to trust the Spirit more with pursuing friends.

One of the questions I often ponder is what does it look like for an introvert to live in community. I enjoy being around people, and I know that I need community, but it wears me out sometimes! Time to myself is hard to come by these days (with 3 kids), and after being around people I need the down time. In the past, I have gone to extremes in pursuing friends. One week, I’ll make lots of plans with people. Then I get overwhelmed and spend the next week resting and “getting things done”. I have gotten better about spreading out my social time and with inviting people to do things together. Sometimes I really want to spend time with people, and sometimes I do it out of guilt or loneliness. The Sonship class helped me see those sinful patterns and that the focus is on me. Now I am trying to ask the Spirit to help me love my friends and focus on them instead of myself, and to give me direction in knowing when to call people up. Also, if they can’t get together, I used to feel that I had few friends, but now I am trying to trust that this is the way the Spirit is answering my request for direction. Then there’s the whole jealousy thing — of seeing my friends hanging out without me. (Facebook is the worst for that, by the way!) But, here is an opportunity for repentance and leaning on the Spirit to help me overcome the temptation to be jealous. God has put me here with these people as my friends on purpose, and I have to remember that and love them.

Another struggle I have is having deep friendships and the consistency it takes to maintain them. To look at me from the outside, you’d think I was deep in community, being involved in a lot at church. But I have the tendency to want to know everybody a little bit, which means I don’t know many people very well. I’m not saying I don’t have good friends — God has blessed me with many. But I have a hard time keeping in touch regularly. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on some friends if I spend all my time with others. There’s so much to do and so little time, and I have a hard time focusing on a few. It encourages me that Jesus had Peter, James, and John so close to him and was still able to love many. I want to grow in this area. I imagine this is a gap for a lot of people — knowing people in their church community but still not having a deep relationship.

I see these struggles in friendships as part of a bigger struggle in friendship with Jesus. Growing up, I had the blessing of having a family and church that taught me a great deal about the Bible and theology. Much of my spiritual growth has been turning that head knowledge into heart knowledge about relationship with God and with others. Even the day I mark as the day I became a Christian was realizing that Jesus was standing at the door and knocking, wanting to come in and be in a relationship with me. One of the things I love about Redeemer is it moves me to be in authentic relationship with God and with people because of the atmosphere of repentance and grace.

Thanks for listening, and for your faithfulness in preaching the Word. And for teaching the Sonship class last year!
Signed,
Recovering Introvert

Something to dwell on...

1 Peter 1:8-9
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

That's the kind of God He is.

I've been reading Isaiah lately. Much of it I don't understand, and it is mostly written to Israel--especially Isaiah 43 (which I read today). I am enjoying taking it in as a grafted (Romans 11:17) "wild olive." And so I read,

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!...
Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you....
I have created for My glory,
Whom I have formed, even whom I have made....
Before Me there was no God formed,
And there will be none after Me.
I, even I, am the Lord;
And there is no savior besides Me....
Even from eternity I am He;
And there is none who can deliver out of My hand;
I act and who can reverse it?...
I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions
for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins."

How treasured and secure I am! How tender and merciful He is! The thing is, before He says,

"I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions
for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins"
in Isaiah 43:25, the verses right before this are about how Israel hasn't done anything Him and, "you have burdened Me with your sins, you have wearied Me with your iniquities" (Is. 43:24). That's the kind of God He is. We don't do anything for Him, in fact, He is exhausted and burdened by us, and in response He wipes out all our ickiness for His own sake (again, that's the kind of God He is)!

I read Isaiah 31:1 today:
"Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD."

I was searching my heart and asking, "Am I trusting in other things than the Lord? Who do I rely on?" This is quite convicting to ask, especially as I read this verse last week:

Isaiah 25:1
"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago."

How little my faith is! May I trust in the One who is my God, the One who in "PERFECT faithfulness" has done marvelous things. These things didn't just happen or aren't a last-minute whim of His, but have been planned and foreknown. May I exalt Him and praise His name!

Trip to NJ and NC

We just had the blessing of getting to spend time with family in North Carolina and New Jersey. Here are some memories:

Waterfall fun at Hanging Rock State Park

My sister, Maike, had fun crafts for the cousins to do--like make your own visors.

Trey loved his newt: Elmo.

We got to spend a day with my brother, John, and his family as well.
Lots of cousins:
The New Jersey Shore...

Grampa helps Trey at the boardwalk in Seaside Heights.
All the Fletchers together! Carl's sister and Phil come for a visit.
Carl gets some surfing in!



Hanna and Maggie love it at Camp Iroquoina :) where I first understood the Gospel 26 years ago.

Pursue Me!

I have been struggling through different friendships and my issues with people. I feel insecure, resentful, and frankly quite pathetic as I continually pursue time with friends but it is not always reciprocated. Now, if I get deep down and personal, I may not always want the friend popping up when it is inconvenient or when they have a need--but especially when it is convenient for me or when I'm feeling lonely, or friends do things without me and I feel left out. I want them to ask me how I'm doing, to pray for me, to whisk me away for a quiet cup of chai, to love on my kids, to stop by unannounced "just because." Now I do have friends that have done this off and on. But I want it all the time (or at least when I think I want it). I want to be sought after and pursued, not always be the one pursuing and making all the effort (again, we're dealing with my perception here).

And then I think of Jesus. It keeps popping into my head that He "did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many" (Matt. 20:28, Mark 10:45). He is the one constantly putting Himself out there, constantly seeking, and pursuing. "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost," (Luke 19:10) not to enjoy pleasantries with friends, be doted on by adoring fans, have riches and comfort bestowed on Him which He gets to share with friends, vacation at the beach with His buddies sipping cool drinks, even enjoy the physical intimacy of a wife. And His relational needs, which He does have as a human man, are completely met by his Heavenly Father (the intimacy they share is obvious). John 17 is full of this:
I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. John 17:21-23, emphasis mine. (Slight aside here, there is so much more to digest in all of this just considering the implications of how God has loved us like He loves Jesus.)
And then on His purpose for life: “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me [the Father] and to finish his work" (John 4:34). "For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me" (John 6:38). Again, He is not thinking at all about Himself or His relationships with others His friends. Jesus' perspective is also different in that He says, "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me" (John 5:30). All of this brings me to realize that my perspective continues to be flawed (selfish at its core), and that the times I have of true unity with a fellow sister are mere glimpses of the Triune God and of what I have to look forward to in eternity with Him and other believers. But for now I can say to myself, "Pursue Him" and bow in awe and reverence that He pursues me as persistently as He does.


Some additional verses to ponder in gaining a perspective on who to seek and who is seeking me:
1 Cor. 10:24 Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

Psa. 27:8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Luke 12:31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

John 17:26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.


Now, after all this soul-searching and deliberation, I have new questions about friendship that I wonder about. What is its purpose (as believers)? What about best friends (thinking about Jesus and Peter and John...)? Am I desiring something totally off base? Stay tuned for more ponderings...

What a prayer...

Ephesians 3:17-21

...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge [slight aside, but that really gets me...to know something that surpasses knowledge...wow]— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.