Another Installation in Relationships Within the Church (especially among women)

When it gets right down to it, I feel connected to those who I know their continual struggles and they know mine. Do their continual complaints weigh me down? Depends. If it is shared in a "life stinks and it is always stinky" way, sure. But if it is shared in a "here I am again...please pray with me/for me/help me find some encouragement through all this" then no. I definitely hear what you're saying about not speaking words that don't edify and give grace. That definitely falls in the first category "stinky, always stinky" sharing. Sometimes we do that and need more prayer. But the words of "this is me today" are opening the door to be edified/edify. Otherwise, it is difficult to know each other and impossible to be able to edify or give grace. I wonder sometimes where I'm at with someone (they act funky) and don't know that they are feeling poorly, or that they had a spat with their husband, or that they just got their period.... I tend to be an "this is me" communicator, and I wonder sometimes if that person really needed to hear/cared to hear about my lack of sleep or my period. I struggle with the balance of sharing my life in a way that is helpful for relationships--should I tell them how I am feeling and struggling, or just say, "God is always good and is giving me strength" which is true as well? I suppose both are necessary for true communication. I also believe that consistency is a key. If I am connected to someone by spending time/communication with them frequently, we are definitely able to pray and encourage each other more--and understand whatever is going on in that person's life because we KNOW each other. This also opens the door for understanding, prayer, and more fellowship of His sufferings as we get to spend time in the same place, same time for however long the Lord has it.

It is a struggle to know how much to share and with whom. The Lord definitely had his "lonely" times (Mark 1) with his Father. Obviously God is our one with whom we should share the most intimate and all our struggles. But Jesus also had this group of guys that were always with him, almost all the time. They were supposed to encourage/learn from/pray with him--and later we see how they ministered and were knit together and forced apart to minister elsewhere. It is really in Acts and in the Epistles that we read more about what the church was like or should be like. It is how we love each other that the world will see Jesus. But how can we love each other when we barely know each other beyond the surface? I think it needs to come from time and consistency.




This isn't totally on topic, but the verse of the week for me is 2 Corinthians 9:8! Check it out:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Amy Carmichael wrote that she heard this verse preached but was too far in the back and couldn't hear much of what the preacher said except, "All....all...all....all...all." :)

A Painting I am Working On...

Vulnerability within the Church (especially among women)

I understand the desire to close up to people/not let them get too near/not be transparent in order to not get hurt. I have struggled with this so much. But so many of the Lord's commands have the words "one another." It is impossible to do these without each other. It is also impossible to be knit together as a true body when we don't connect on a pretty deep level. The word "body" even shows this--it's not single units stringed together like a necklace, not getting too close but being close "enough." All in all, it is a huge spiritual battle. What an amazing encouragement it is to hear each other's sins and struggles, to pray together, to spend time together, to speak Scripture to each other, to be involved in each other's children's lives, to pinpoint sin and confront, and to see victories and rejoice. But this is such a battle. It is so much easier to not share sins and struggles, to not pray, to stay alone, to be alone in our Scripture discoveries, to not be inconvenienced, to keep away and not go too deep. I am speaking to myself in all of this. When we look at the church in Acts, or hear Paul talking about other believers who have so encouraged him...these are things that cannot happen as we stay back and remain at a distance. Not only is Jesus an "all in" relationship, but the relationship we get to have with each other can be at that level. Does that mean we'll get hurt? Sure. Jesus and Paul certainly did. Does that mean we'll hurt others? Sure. Paul did (I'm thinking Barnabas here--they had a sharp dispute, so that was definitely a bad day for both of them). But what an enormous blessing we are able to live out as a body knit together, functioning to the glory of God as the world "sees" what Jesus is in us. The things that hold me back are definitely wrong thinking each time:
"She doesn't really care."
"I am fine without her in my life."
"I am too tired to deal with her issues."
"She isn't a blessing to me."
"I need help, and she obviously doesn't, so I'm pathetic."
"She has made me feel ugly (or fat or like a bad mother or like a mess or...) before so I don't want to feel that way anymore."
"I always say the wrong thing around her so she probably thinks I'm an idiot."
"I've asked for forgiveness but she still seems weird towards me. I'll just be surfacy with her from now on."
"She has a better life. It's too painful to be near her and hear about it."
"I'm fine with God, my husband and kids. I don't need anyone else."
"I don't want to be a burden."
"I am a burden and no one wants to deal with that so I'll just draw away from them."

I tried to dig deep to think of some of the wrong and sinful thoughts I've had that have hampered my relationships, caused me to become bitter, or just plain been wrong. These are just off the top of my head (pretty sad, I know!). But in order for our body to flourish, we need to need and know each other. The biggest verse for this is John 13:34-35:

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Just analyzing how Jesus loved as well as thinking about what love looks like is enough to make my brain go into overdrive. Some of it is fleshed out in:
Rom. 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Rom. 12:16
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Rom. 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
Rom. 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Rom. 15:14
I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.
1Cor. 1:10
I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.
1Cor. 16:20
All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.
2Cor. 13:12
Greet one another with a holy kiss.
Gal. 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Eph. 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Eph. 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Eph. 5:19
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
Eph. 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Col. 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Col. 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
1Th. 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Titus 3:3
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
Heb. 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Heb. 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Heb. 10:25
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
James 4:11
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
1Pet. 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.
1Pet. 3:8
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
1Pet. 4:9
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1Pet. 5:5
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
1Pet. 5:14
Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.
1John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
1John 3:11
This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
1John 3:23
And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
1John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1John 4:11
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1John 4:12
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
2 John 1:5
And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another.

YIKES!!! As I read through these, I am seriously convicted. I know I have definitely not been the best at showing love and am so sorry for the many times I have hurt others. May God use this wretch (me) for His glory. May I be open and able to "one another" in His church.

Fletcher Christmas Letter 2008

Dear Friends and Family,

What a wonder that another year has come and gone. We enjoyed visits from friends and family as well as taking a trip to NJ, southern California, and many getaways with our trailer.

Carl (37) - Carl continues to pastor Grace Church. He is busy finding a new place for our church to meet, studying, preaching, installing new windows in our house, keeping up with our busy family, and meeting with people. He is thankful for the Lord’s all-sufficient grace through Christ.

Kerstin (36) - What a year it’s been. I have seen the hospital a bunch, with my own knee surgery (indoor soccer injury) and Lily’s deflux injection. I continue to homeschool, have started on Facebook (which has been fun), still am painting and drawing, and am really glad that God has given me people like you to share life with. We have enjoyed God’s working out His place as first and foremost in our hearts through sad changes in our church and new joy and hope for the future. I have decided that “for me to live is Christ” is my verse for 2009. He is so delightful and sufficient for every need.


Johanna (11) - Hanna is such a growing young lady. She is able to cook and bake, and loves to help out. Hanna always has plans--from playing airplane where Lily and Trey are her kids, to having a pretend farm in the backyard where the little ones can milk a cow (a rubber glove), find an egg (our chickens hadn’t laid eggs yet so she settled for plastic ones in their pen), ride a wagon, and bob for apples. She also loves to take care of things so that we can stay in bed just a little longer. Hanna loves ballet--starting en pointe this year, and plays piano and violin. She got to go horseback riding a couple times and really enjoyed that too. Hanna’s favorite Bible verses are from Romans 12:1-2: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Magdeline (9) - Maggie is a sweetheart who finally got the bunny she’s been longing for a long time. His name is Benjamin. He is tan and the most beautiful rabbit we’ve ever seen (but has a penchant for electrical wires). Maggie would rather be playing with the little ones or standing on her head than doing her schoolwork. She changes her name regularly and is currently going by “Meg.” Maggie says the funniest things (the bran cereal is “Brain” cereal, and the animal that is an antelope is a “cantaloupe”). She definitely likes to express her thoughts with vivid, unique language. “I’m bursting hungry, beaming hot, and pure tired.” Maggie has deep thoughts about why God doesn’t answer prayers immediately how she would like it. Her prayers are so heartfelt and honest. I often find a sweet note in my bed encouraging me or apologizing for something. Her favorite verse is Philippians 1:6, “I am confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”


Lilyana (4 1/2) - Lily finally got to stop taking antibiotics this year. She is a tenacious, fun-loving little ray of sunshine. She chatters away, saying things like, “I don’t like slime” and “If God wants me to be a dentist, I’ll scrub people’s teeth and if they’re dusty, I’ll wipe them off.” Lily is always collecting acorns, shells, leaves, or pebbles. Her shelves are full of her treasures and when Carl was tickling her yesterday, all sort of things fell out of her pockets. Lily has a recipe box full of make-believe goodies: all her recipes have the ingredients strawberries, chocolate, and whipped cream. When her belly growls, it is “talking” about something. Lily loves helping out, going to preschool, and doing art. She is hardly ever found without a marker in hand. The turkey at Thanksgiving was “Opa’s Chicken” and the stuffed animal cat at the library dressed up like a rooster is the “Cockadoodle Kitty.” She is still super expressive and has us all laughing with her funny faces.

Carl III a.k.a. “Trey” (2 1/2) Our little dude is growing so quickly. He is never found without a box or bag of his “duff” (stuff) that he lugs around wherever he’s going. His favorite songs are “Nothing But The Blood Of Jesus” and “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands,” often singing one or the other at the top of his lungs early in the morning. He also makes us all laugh and is such a fun companion for his sisters. Highlights of Trey’s life are when the garbage truck comes on Monday mornings, when someone is chasing or tickling him, and when it’s birthday time (he talks about birthdays every day and is super excited that it’s Jesus’ birthday soon). Trey will be chatting on his imaginary phone, “I lub you too, sista.” He adores biking, parking his toy cars in different locations in our house (that usually block a doorway), playing with trains (he’s a big Thomas fan), taking care of his Blankie, following his sisters around, and dragging his Sesame Street suitcase around. When we were camping, Trey pointed out all the “duffed aminals” (thinking the squirrels and chipmunks were stuffed animals let loose in the wild). He loves the smell of a car engine (wonder where he got that from!) and will be found racing into a room and landing with a big belly flop.

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).”

We wish you a very Merry Christmas, and God’s peace in 2009.


Much love,

The Fletchers

We love to keep in touch. Visits are wonderful too!

Memories and Traditions

I want to share about some traditions/memories from our family. I grew up in a German family where we had certain traditions that were distinctly German. In keeping with German traditions and their growing faith in Jesus, much of our celebrating had a simplicity that focused more on celebrating the birth of Jesus than on acquisition of material possessions. This had to do in part also with my parents growing up during war times. I have enclosed a letter from my father (Opa) to his grandkids about what Christmas was like for him when he was in 4th grade.

My husband and I have struggled over the years at how to celebrate Christmas in a way that brings glory and joy to Christ and not to ourselves. It sure is difficult to figure out! I have had the kids put a letter in their stockings in the past in which they write to Jesus what gifts they would like to give Him in the coming year ("Happy Birthday, Jesus. I would like to love my sister better for you, Lord") and this year I am going to surprise them with a little carton of yummy baby food fruit in their stocking to remind them of how little Jesus was, and what an amazing thing that God would make himself a human baby. Maybe that's the start of a new tradition. A tradition we've done every Christmas Eve is to have the children (including neighbor children) reenact the Christmas story as my husband reads it from the Bible. Friends that don't have family or a place to go join us as well. The children really enjoy taking on the parts of Mary, Joseph, shepherds, and angels. Such fun!

I hope that you all have a really enjoyable and memorable Christmas celebration this year!
Because of Jesus,

K

My dad and I

Opa with 4 of his 14 grandchildren

Dear Grandchildren,

When Opa was 7 years old, that was in 1943, we had been sent to East Germany to escape the bombardment in my hometown Bochum in the West. As 1944 went by, the eastern front of the German army against Russia had collapsed and the war zone came closer and closer to where we lived. I do not remember anything about Christmas that year, 1944, because we lived in steady fear.

On January 27, 1945 the authorities allowed us finally to flee Neustettin on a train. We sat on flat bed cars, no walls, which had loaded railcar axles. In winter weather with a temperature of -17degrees Fahrenheit, we rolled west. It was so bitter cold that many people froze to death. After 5 days we arrived in Berlin. During that year we hopped around like rabbits chased by dogs, fighter planes and bombs. We literally jumped into ditches next to the road when fighter planes appeared in the sky shooting with machine guns at us.

In the fall of 1945 we finally arrived back in Bochum. In the meantime we had been overtaken by the British army. Bochum was totally flattened, there were no buildings standing. Everything was devastated and burned out, nothing but Trümmerhaufen, mountain of burnt out building material. We stayed with friends somewhere in the suburbs and I went out all day long picking up branches and pieces of wood so that we could cook some greens which we found in the woods and on the graveyard which nobody ate normally.

Before Christmas in 1946, we finally found an apartment under a roof with tilted walls. The walls had been newly plastered and because of the cold and the damp, there was a ½ inch layer of ice on the inside of the walls mixed with mildew. We had no furniture and we slept on bunk beds out of steel which we got from somewhere. We had a cast iron oven, but nothing to burn. We literally sat on the floor in front of the cold oven, held hands and shivered. It was the coldest winter I can remember.

After quite some time without school, school had just opened again. We were shivering in class with coats, caps and gloves on, because there was no heat and nothing to heat with. I came home and complained to my mother and she said: “But the other children are cold too.” When I told her that the other children possibly came to school warm, while I came already cold, she started to cry. When I came to America one of the first things I did is buy warm Eddie Bauer goose down sleeping bags that all of my children would be warm at least when they slept.

I do not think there was anything around us which reminded us of Christmas, except scenes of cold, hunger and scarcity of every thing. We were waiting in long queues in front of bakeries in the morning to get a loaf of bread until the bakery ran out. If you did not get bread, the family went hungry. My sister went by train to the farm country and begged for potatoes and bread with cigarettes and nylons from America.

The only surprise was when grandma sent a package from America. Besides other good things inside, there were cigarettes which were like money. With cigarettes you could buy something you could not get otherwise. We had no fat, no butter or margarine. Grandma went from house to house in Washington DC and collected bacon fat which she put in Maxwell coffee cans and sent them over to us for cocking. She also sent peanut butter which I did not like. Since there was no jelly, the bread with the peanut butter would get stuck in my throat and I had great difficulty to get it back up or down. Even cold water did not help. We had no coffee or tea.

This was when I was in fourth grade, there was nothing Christmassy about Christmas. It was very similar to Joseph and Mary when they came to Bethlehem and had to stay in a stable without bed and heat. We did not even have an ox, donkey of sheep to keep warm with. There were also no shepherds and if there were angels, I did not see them. But God let us persevere.

In love, Opa

A place for ME!

I must confess that I struggle with feeling like there is no true home here. This is not wrong thinking, as my true Home is in Heaven with Jesus. But I think I feel it more keenly because I do not have a mom who takes me in at times, unabashedly loving my husband and my children. She would have toys for my little ones when they visit, praising their antics and encouraging me in parenting. She would be thrilled to have us visit.

As I was feeling a bit sad lately, I was reminded of what Jesus says in John 14:2-3:
In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Jesus is excited about my coming--He is getting the place ready and wants to be with me. He is the one with whom I will truly be at home. And it is an added wonder that my mother will be there too! There is this eternal hope--and the apostle Paul struggled with where he wanted to be in Philippians 1:21. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Right now I am here, and I want to be living here for Christ.

Fact Vs. Feeling (or He is Able...)

I definitely struggle with the conundrum of fact versus feeling in my walk of faith in Jesus. I KNOW whom I have believed and that He is able to do what He says (2 Tim. 1:12), but sometimes I don't feel like much. I guess that is why FAITH is such a big thing. To believe what cannot be seen or, at times, felt.

That is why I love 2 Corinthians 4--a chapter that I read to my mother on her death bed, as she lay just on the brink of seeing the unseen.

2 Cor. 4:7-18
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

And God's Word further says about Jesus in Hebrews 7:25
Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Imagine that FACT! He is able!